Euro 2024: Exploring Domestic Abuse and Football Culture

17th June 2024

We are delighted to publish this blog, written and shared with kind permission of The For Baby’s Sake Trust. Produced for the 2024 European Championships, in collaboration with HQN, this blog aims to raise awareness of the relationship between domestic abuse and football. It forms part of The For Baby’s Sake Trust’s Children Keep the Score campaign.

In England, football is considered the national sport and globally it is enjoyed by 3.5 billion people. Football’s widespread appeal across all continents can be attributed to passion, a sense of belonging, drama, loyalty, rivalry, a need for social connection, creation of powerful fantasies, all of which transcend cultural and linguistic barriers. But it comes at an increasing cost to the fabric of family life.

What is the relationship between football and domestic abuse?

Many people in relationships with abusive partners live in dread of major football competitions like the World Cup because domestic abuse incidents soar. The early evidence is clear – there is a correlation between domestic abuse and football. Researchers at Lancaster University have observed that the number of domestic abuse reports rose by 26% when the English national team won or drew and increased by 38% when the national team lost.

Whilst football cannot be blamed for domestic abuse, there is a correlation between behaviour patterns that are present in both situations. The most powerful is the lack of emotional regulation and several studies have indicated that alcohol/substance use negatively impact the heightened state of emotional arousal. When our ability to control our emotional state diminishes due to environmental factors, intense feelings, alcohol/substance use, and peer pressure as experienced by some football fans, this can lead to a loss of control.

This behaviour is not exclusively reserved for international tournaments or the intensified atmosphere of a large stadium. Lack of emotional regulation is often displayed by parents when watching their children play football. This needs to be addressed because it has the potential to influence children’s perception of acceptable behaviour and be transferred to the home environment when not contained.

Moreover, studies have shown a two-way link between alcohol use and aggression. In short, when you drink, you’re more likely to become disinhibited which can include adopting aggressive behaviours. Also, being a victim of aggression can cause excessive alcohol consumption — therefore, some football fans could be viewed as helplessly stuck in a cycle of consumption and response.

In addition to this, trauma and life-changing events in early childhood can cause sensitisation to the central nervous system, disrupting emotional regulation, amongst other symptoms including depression, anxiety and a lack of self-worth and agency that can continue throughout adulthood. This can make it more likely to use abusive behaviours in adulthood. Those at risk of using abusive behaviours must notice what they are feeling, name it, create space to cope, identify and reduce triggers, and consider the story they are telling themselves in the moment. Support is needed to be able to achieve this.

There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach; domestic abuse is a complex societal issue that impacts many areas of life. Therefore, responses must be multi-layered. But the best place to start is to confide in someone you trust and seek professional support. And, if you’re worried about your behaviour or emotional regulation during football tournaments, try and take some of these steps:

Recognise what specific aspects of the game (e.g. referee decisions, team performance, opponent’s behaviour) tend to trigger strong emotional reactions.
Be conscious of your emotional state and notice when you start to feel agitated or upset.
Where possible, try to address the potential outcomes of drinking, and how this will affect you and your children. Avoid alcohol if this is a trigger for you.
Set your expectations. Understand that football is unpredictable. Accept that your team won’t always win, and there will be frustrating moments.
Engage in mindfulness exercises before the game to centre yourself. This could include deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation.
Watch the game in a setting that minimizes additional stressors. If watching in a group, ensure it’s with people who promote a positive atmosphere. If watching in public is triggering, stay home instead, and vice versa.
If you feel your emotions rising, step away from the screen for a few minutes. Use this time to breathe deeply or do a quick physical activity to release tension.
Use distractions. Have a stress ball, fidget toy, or another object to occupy your hands and help diffuse some of the tension.
It’s okay to express frustration or disappointment but try to do so without aggression or harmful language. Practice phrases like, “I’m disappointed with that play,” instead of more volatile expressions. You may also find that the use of humour helps you keep a sense of perspective.
Discuss your feelings with friends or family members who understand and can offer support. Sometimes verbalising your emotions can reduce their intensity.

If your behaviour during football is beginning to worry you or cause harm to those around you, longer-term strategies may need to be explored. Invest time in developing strategies for stress and anger management, such as regular exercise, hobbies, or professional counselling. If controlling your emotions during football is consistently challenging, consider seeking help from a therapist or counsellor to explore underlying issues and develop effective coping strategies.

By implementing these strategies, you can enjoy football while maintaining a respectful and safe environment for yourself and those around you. Emotional regulation is a skill that can be developed with practice and commitment.

What should I do if I’m worried about my partner’s behaviour during football?

Intense emotions and aggressive behaviours can escalate into domestic abuse. If you’re worried about your partner’s behaviour, and its impact on your family, please keep these steps in mind:

Call 999 immediately if you believe you or your children are in danger. Prioritise your immediate safety above all else.
Share your concerns with a trusted friend or family member. Establish a ‘safe word’ that signals you need urgent help. Provide this person with a key to your house and prepare a ‘getaway’ bag containing essentials for you and your children.
Ensure you know the location of all critical legal documents, such as passports, birth certificates, and financial records. Keep them accessible in case you need to leave quickly.
Plan a safe way to leave the house if the situation escalates. Identify a safe place you can go, such as a friend’s house or a shelter.
Build a network of supportive people around you. This can include friends, family, neighbours, and support groups who can offer emotional and practical assistance.
Reflect on why you want to stay with this person and if you genuinely believe they can change. Consider whether their behaviour is putting you and your children at risk.
Contact an Independent Domestic Abuse Advisor (IDVA) for specialised support and guidance. They can help you navigate the situation and access resources.
Engage with a therapist to work through your experiences and emotions. Professional support can help you build resilience and plan for a safer future.
Take it one day at a time. Focus on immediate safety and wellbeing. Each step you take towards securing your safety is important. Be patient with yourself and your situation.

If you’re concerned about your partner’s behaviour and the risk of domestic abuse, it’s crucial to prioritise your safety and wellbeing which will allow you, in turn, to protect any children in the home. Recognise the signs of abusive behaviour, such as extreme anger, verbal threats, or physical aggression, especially during emotionally charged times like football matches. Ensure you have a support system in place, including trusted friends, family, or local support services, and have a safety plan ready. Don’t hesitate to reach out to professional resources guidance and assistance. Remember, you are not alone, and help is available to ensure your safety and support your journey towards a healthier environment.

Football should be celebrated for its ability to unite people across cultures and create a sense of belonging but its darker side, particularly concerning domestic abuse, cannot be ignored. The intense emotions and aggressive behaviours often associated with football can exacerbate underlying issues of emotional regulation, leading to harmful outcomes within families. This issue extends beyond the stadium and can influence behaviours in everyday situations.

Addressing the relationship between football and domestic abuse requires a multifaceted approach. Individuals concerned about their behaviour or their partner’s must recognise their triggers and develop meaningful, safety-first coping strategies by seeking support from trusted networks and professionals. It’s crucial to have safety plans and support systems in place to protect everyone at risk. Emotional regulation is a skill that can be developed when understood and acknowledged, with commitment and the right support, individuals can enjoy football responsibly and maintain a safe and respectful environment at home.

Ultimately, it is vital to raise awareness of this issue and encourage proactive measures to prevent domestic abuse linked to football culture. By fostering a healthier sporting environment and supporting those affected, we can mitigate the negative impacts on family life and promote positive role models for future generations. Remember, help is available, and taking steps to address these concerns can lead to safer, more supportive relationships and communities.